3 Strategies for Healthy Balance Post-Divorce
When I divorced, I threw myself into my work. If I'm being honest, I was already throwing myself into my work well before the separation even came. It was a way to cope. I had a long commute, and I rationalized the morning drive as a great way to connect with my peeps in Europe and the evening commute as a way to connect with my peeps in Asia. And I dreaded going home, so I delayed as much as possible, although there were always good reasons: projects, clients, you name it. I also had to mentally and emotionally prepare to be home to an environment that was less than ideal.
So, today, I thought I would share 3 strategies to begin to re-establish a healthy balance in your life.
Know Where You Stand
Looking back on it now, I would do things differently. For our life to be and feel fulfilling, we should avoid emphasizing one area or another too much. So I invite you to take a good look at your life and rate yourself honestly on a scale of 1 (very dissatisfied) to 10 (fully satisfied) on the following dimensions:
- Family & Friends
- Self-Love
- Personal Growth
- Fun & Leisure
- Home Environment
- Career/Work
- Finances
- Health & Wellness
This exercise will give you a great view of where you are. You can map your scores on this handy dandy worksheet.
How do you feel about your scores? Any surprises?
Then, pick the one category that would be the most life-changing if you could improve your score. If you scored low, what 1-3 things could you do to bump your number by 2 points? If you scored high, what does a 10 look like?
Then, it's all about implementation!
Prioritize Your Well-Being
When I talk about well-being, I mean your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. These are all facets of wellness that impact how you feel.
Here are the ones that I found to have the most significant impact:
- Prioritize Sleep - When we're exhausted, everything is more difficult. Our nerves are on edge, and anything can set us off. Decisions are more difficult to make, so get your Zs!
- Spend some time in silence - this can be difficult as our monkey brain can have a mind of its own, but sitting still and allowing ourselves to feel, to listen to our bodies, and to aim to slow down the mind does wonders for our mental fitness.
- Cry it out! Crying it out is good for us! Holding on to our emotions can wreak havoc not only on our minds but also on our bodies. Emotions are stored in the hips, so if your hips feel tight, work on releasing those emotions.
Do More of What Lights You Up!
When was the last time you did something you truly loved? Something that made you come alive? Something that had you grinning from ear to ear?
Not sure what lights you up? Try new things. Have you ever wanted to learn a new language? When was the last time you picked up your violin? One thing I found to work well is volunteering. There is nothing like getting outside of yourself to start appreciating what you have; it also makes you feel good to do for others! I walk around my neighborhood with my Rotary Club peeps, picking up trash on Saturday mornings, and I love it because it makes me feel proud to take care of my town.
Final Words
The other side of a divorce is challenging to navigate. Throwing yourself into work can help for a time, but it is not sustainable unless burning out is your goal. Establishing a new rhythm and harmony is your best long-term strategy. By assessing our satisfaction across various life dimensions, prioritizing well-being, and pursuing joyful activities, we can start to find our footing and re-establish homeostasis. It can take time, but by being aware and consistently making strides, you'll find greater happiness.
Your future self will thank you for the steps you take today. What will be your first step towards a more balanced life now that you can craft it as you wish it?
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