5 Confidence Boosters Post Separation

After going through a separation or divorce, our self-confidence can take a hit. I put on a good facade. After all, I had left, so I didn't feel I had the "right" to feel unsure. But I remember feeling insecure and unlovable, and I threw myself into my work. I worked crazy hours because that was where I was getting my validation.

Getting our confidence back is critical to rediscovering ourselves and thriving post-divorce. Today, I want to share three conventional tips and two that are a little more "out there."

Prioritize Your Self-Care

Self-care doesn't just mean your physical well-being. It also includes your mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. We feel more confident when we feel good in our mind and body. Here are some ideas:

• Prioritize getting good sleep every night. That means having an evening routine that prepares you for healthy zs.
• Eat foods that are good for your body and your brain. Did you know that how you feel today is a result of what you ate, did, and thought three days ago?
• Move your butt!
• Sit with yourself for 10-15 minutes every day - pro tip: doing it at night helps you relax into sleep.
• Make journaling a habit. Writing down your thoughts and feelings at night not only helps you sleep better but also enables you to recognize patterns.

Make a List of What You Love About Yourself

When our confidence takes a hit, it's easy to fall into the trap of overthinking. We latch onto a negative thought and replay it endlessly, often losing sight of what makes us truly remarkable.

So, pick a day when you're feeling particularly good about yourself and ask yourself these questions:

• What do I like about myself? My sense of humor, my eyes, how I make others laugh, etc…
• What am I good at? Making others feel at ease, making people laugh, being organized, etc…

You may not get a complete list in one sitting, so keep a running list, and when something pops into your mind, add it!

And if you get stuck, ask your friends the same questions. Ask them what they admire about you. You'll see yourself through a completely different set of eyes. And accept what they say graciously, even if you don't see it for yourself.

Invest in Your Personal Growth

Personal development became my "drug of choice." I wanted to get to know myself better and was hungry for a different way of approaching things. But you can approach it any way you want. You could take up a new hobby or do something you've been thinking about but didn't have the courage or the time to do until now. Trying new things boosts confidence and expands your horizons and sense of self.

It would help if you had a new outlet for the energy you invested in your relationship. And you are that outlet. It's easy to question yourself when you have no focus. So, set some goals and measure yourself against them regularly. 

Create a "Confidence Closet"

The way we dress can significantly impact our self-perception and confidence levels. When I feel frumpy or spend my day wearing PJs, I'm not in great condition to conquer the world. A "confidence closet" filled with clothes that make you feel strong, beautiful, and empowered can boost your confidence.

All you have to do is go through your wardrobe and select outfits that make you feel powerful and self-assured. So what is it for you? That killer pair of heels? A little black dress? Power pants that make your butt look great? Whatever it is, wear these outfits on days when you need an extra confidence boost. Just doing that can help remind you you are stronger than you think you are

Take Yourself on Solo Dates

I remember my weekly ritual. I would go to my favorite restaurant with a good book and enjoy being out. The staff all knew me. The hostesses knew me by name. I had my favorite waiter, whom I knew by name. They always made me feel like a VIP. Spending quality time alone can help you rediscover your own company and build self-reliance.

If dinner out is not your thing, you can go to a movie, go on an excursion, visit a museum, or attend a Meetup event with other people who like the same things you like. These moments will help you reconnect with your interests and passions.

Final Words

There are many ways you can learn to build your confidence. It all starts by caring for your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. It also means recognizing your own greatness and investing in your personal growth. If you're ready for some unconventional ways to boost your self-confidence, dig into your confidence closet, pick out a power outfit, and take yourself out to dinner! Share in the comments below what has helped you stay confident this week