Your 6 Must-Have Relationships to Thrive

Most of us know that having a strong network of supportive relationships is key to achieving success in life. We can do a lot on our own, but when we have a support system that encourages, supports and chellenges us, we can go a lot further. Many don't realize however, that relationships come in all shapes and sizes, and you need more than just one or two to thrive. In this blog post, we'll discuss the six different relationships every woman should have in her life. Read on to learn more!

In summary, they are the Mentor, the Coach/Cheerleader, the Challenger, the Confidant, the Collaborator and the one you can Get Silly with.

Let's look at what they bring and what you can expect from each of them.

The Mentor

The first relationship you ought to have is a mentor. This is someone who is first a role model for you, someone you admire or endeavor to emulate in how you live your personal and professional life, interact with others and who has the mindset you want to mimic. Generally, a mentor is someone who can provide you with a different perspective, either because of their journey or because of the qualities they embody.

Marguerite is a friend of my parents and is in her late 70’s. She has always marched by the beat of her own drum, not caring what other people think. She’s strategic and a visionary. She knows what she wants and goes after it with gusto, even now that she is retired. She has never lost that go-getter attitude. She always has excellent advice, never judges and when she challenges, does so with the only desire, than for me to give my best. She gets me to think about things differently and more thoroughly than I do on my own. That’s the type of mentor you want. We have a unique relationship in that she is also a coach, challenger, confidant all rolled into one, and man, can we get silly!

When you first look for a mentor, be clear about what you expect from the relationship. For example, you’ll want to think about what are the areas you’re looking to grow in, what are the challenges you are facing that you believe they can help you with and agree on a meeting schedule that works for you both. A mentor is not someone you need to meet with every week, or even every month. I found every 2 months to quarterly is a good frequency. When you do meet with them, be mindful of their time. Know what you want to talk about and have an agenda ready so you can stay organized. This will help you maximize your time with them and them carve out the right amount of time while staying on track with everything else they have going on.

Mentoring doesn't have to be a one way street. You have experiences and knowledge you also can contribute to the dynamic. Once you've established you mentoring schedule, think about the challenges you may be facing which your mentor might also be facing in their space. Then, consider what skills and approaches you've used that have served in you dealing with the situation. Then approach them about it and let them know you'd like to serve them in that way, if they're open. If they are, figure out how frequently, formally or informally, you want to exchange ideas and how you will measure success. Establishing those guidelines ahead of time will help to keep the conversation open and the expectations clear.

The Coach

Maybe, I’m biased (wink wink), but I think everybody should have a coach. We can do fine on our own, but nothing propels us and keeps us moving at a good clip in achieving our goals and endeavors than a good coach. Now, I’m not talking about your run of the mill life coach who passively asks, “How are you doing?” “What did you accomplish this week?” “What do you want to achieve next week” “OK. See you next week!” I personally am not looking for an accountability coach. When I work with a coach and I make a commitment, I make that commitment to myself, not to them. So what I look for is someone who is going to help me find my own answers, my own solutions to the problems and challenges I face, someone who’s going to dig deeper than the surface answers to the questions and someone who is going to celebrate me when I have successes and remind me that I need to do that, so I can integrate my wins!

So, determine where you want to grow and do your research. Do you need a health coach, a business coach, a career coach? Once you've decided, check out the marketplace. If there is one area where you have a ton of choices, it's coaching! Interview coaches. Most will interview you as well. Make sure you are a good fit for each other. Once you find them, don't hold yourself back. Play full out and allow yourself to be vulnerable and be honest in your answers. A good coach will not judge, so the more you share, the more they can help you and the better questions they can ask so you find the right solutions for yourself.

The Challenger

This is a person who sees you for who you are and loves you just the way you are. They challenge your ideas, perspectives, behaviors and support your decisions to be better than you were yesterday. A challenger helps you improve, or they don't bother challenging you at all! When we're challenged, it's important that we hear what the other is saying, not just hear what we think they're saying. Sometimes our challengers are being bolder than us and asking the questions that are scary to ask but are necessary for us to get unstuck or get moving forward again. The key with a challenger is that you have to be open to hearing them out!

I have a friend who is wonderful at cutting through the BS. She knows me well and doesn't hesitate to call me on my stuff. We don't always see eye to eye on everything, so I always appreciate getting her perspective. Do I like her to challenge me? Not always, but like my friend Marguerite, I know she's coming from a place of help and support rather than judgement.

The Confidant

A confidant is typically a person who knows us well and can be with us through thick and thin. They are someone who is strong enough to be with us when we're down, yet who aren't afraid of our highs! This type of relationship works best if the two people involved have very different personalities. It's good for you to have a safe place to vent your frustrations, get something off your chest or be honest about the challenges you're facing. The key is that they don't share any of what you say with others because if your relationship isn't strong enough to handle it, then it's not meant to be a confidant at all!

You know when you have a confidant because you feel more like yourself with them than anyone else. You can be your wacky self and they understand you without hesitation. Today, I don't have a traditional confidant, but I do have two people, one of them being my Mom, who will listen to me vent for “hours on end” and still think I 'm a good human being! What makes them awesome is that they don't ever take what I say personally but help me problem solve and figure out ways to grow from my experiences.

The Collaborator

The collaborator works best when there are two or more people who want to work on something together. They bring different strengths and experiences to the table and aren't afraid of giving up control because they trust each other or their team (if they have one) enough to allow them to help make decisions. There is only one rule about collaborating with people: if you're going to work with someone, have an agreement with them about what you expect from each other.

For me personally, a collaborator is also someone who I can run my ideas by, who can look at the content I am creating and give me honest feedback. The best thing about this is that I do the same for her. I am blessed to have two women like that in my life at the moment.  They are there to listen with a critical ear and an open heart. We don't know each other super well, but we're learning about and from each other. I think what makes us work well together is that we have different areas of focus, different backgrounds and approach our respective businesses very differently. So, we learn a lot from each other and are not afraid to provide some feedback to make each other and our business better and more competitive in a tough market.

The One You Get Silly With

I love this type of relationship. We all need someone we can giggle and not take life too seriously with! A silly one brings joy to your life. They are the people who make you laugh like no one else can, even when times get tough. This person may not always bring an answer to your problems or help you through them, but they can provide laughter and happiness to your day. It's someone who doesn't think that spending Friday night drinking wine and playing ping pong, or chit chatting and laughing your butt off is either a waste of time or weird.

You know when you have a one that gets silly with because there is no agenda and the conversation comes naturally. This is also someone you can be completely vulnerable with because they will not judge you, but rather provide empathy and support. 

Final Words

It helps to have people in your corner. I love having those different relationships in my life because they each bring something unique and special. It’s been especially important since starting my own business and I am thankful for them each day.

What about you? How many of these do you have in your life?