Get Unstuck By Breaking Old Paradigms

We all know what it feels like to be stuck in a rut. You're going through the motions day after day, but you can't help feeling like there's more to life than this. That's where I was 2020, the year before leaving my 9-5. Some of it was COVID related, some of it was family stress related. I felt like the days blended into each other and the stress carried from one week to the next with no end in sight. I felt stuck. I was living in a world built around the paradigm that to be successful and be able to provide for my family, I needed to be in a corporate environment. It wasn't until I started challenging that belief that I was able to see other possibilities for myself.

We live in a world that is constantly changing and evolving. If we want to thrive, we must break out of the old paradigms that no longer serve us. We must be willing to let go of what is comfortable and familiar to embrace the new and unknown. It can be scary at first, but it is so worth it when we see the results. It was very scary for me to step out of corporate to do my own thing. I had never worked for myself. I never even knew I had that in me! It threw me into a world that is drastically different from the one I had been a part of for 30 years! 30 years of believing this was my path had been turned up on its head. It was destabilizing, but it was exciting at the same time.

Are you feeling like you're stuck in a rut, whether it feels like you're doing the same things day after day with no end in sight or like you are spinning your wheels, pedaling like crazy but going nowhere fast? If so, you're not alone. Many women find themselves in this position at some point in their lives. For me, it was realizing that I needed to make a bigger difference in the world. But here's the good news: you don’t have to stay in that rut! You can break out of your old paradigms and create a life that is full of joy and vitality.

How Do We Get Stuck?

“Paradigm is a part of the conditioning of the mind, our conditioning thought patterns - Bob Proctor

We often get stuck in old paradigms and patterns without realizing it. Over time, these paradigms become so ingrained in our lives that they shape how we see the world and ourselves. We may not even be aware of the paradigms that we are living by until something happens to challenge them.

There is nothing more dangerous that "I've always done it this way". Every time we say this, we put another "nail in our coffin". We stay stuck where we are because we're afraid of venturing out of our comfort zone. We are more focused on what could go wrong, than what could go right.

A couple of things happened that led me to start questioning my paradigm. My divorce forced me to look at what I wanted out of my life. After I was done with the blame game (of course it was all his fault), I started reading books about personal development and growth. I realized I had more control over my life than I thought I did. When I got my first coaching certification, I started paying attention to other coaches who were living the life I imagined myself living in my head and entrepreneurs who were living their dreams. I expanded my circle of influence to include others who were chasing a similar dream, so we could support each other on our journeys. Slowly but surely, my view of the world began to change. I began to believe that maybe I could earn a living doing something meaningful and that it didn’t need to live in the corporate world.

I knew that there was more to life than what I was experiencing, but now I saw a path. I saw that it was possible to live a life of passion and purpose, even if I didn’t have a corporate job. I started to see that the traditional way of doing things wasn't the only way. And one day, a close friend of mine who was my age, passed away in her sleep and that was the event that triggered my departure.

The Juice is Worth the Squeeze

“It all begins in your mind. What you give power to, has power over you” - Leon Brown

As scary as it is to break out of old paradigms, it is so worth it when we do. We are more likely to experience joy and vitality when we are living in alignment with our true selves. When we are doing work that we are passionate about, the hours feel like minutes. We jump out of bed in the morning excited to start our day. We feel like we are making a difference in the world.

How do you know if you're living in alignment with your true self?

• Your work feels effortless and fun, rather than draining and frustrating.
• You have a strong sense of purpose and feel like you are making a difference in the world.
• You feel like you are constantly learning and growing.
• You feel more joyful and vital than you ever have before.
• You show up as your true self and you don't care about what people say.
• You have relationships that are supportive of your new life.

If any of these things resonate with you, it might be time to take the leap and break out of your old paradigms. It won't be easy, but it will be so worth it!

How To Break Out of Old Paradigms

"Believing and investing in yourself is the best way to shift your thinking from a paradigm of excuses to one of solutions" - Farshad Asl

Give Yourself a Reality Check

We need to understand that our old ways of thinking and living may not be serving us anymore. There is no better way to determine whether we should let go of a paradigm than doing a review of how we've felt in the past few weeks or months. If there is a general sense of unease or feeling stuck, or if you find yourself not "fitting" where you once were comfortable, it might be time for you to reevaluate and decide to make a change. 

Get Clear On What You Want

This may seem like a no-brainer, but it's important to take the time to really think about what you want out of your life. We can't just say "I want a new life" without knowing where it is we're headed. What are your deepest desires? What kind of life do you want to live? What is your bigger purpose? Once you have a clear idea of what you want, it’s easier to take the necessary steps to get there.

Be Willing To Let Go

To create something new, you must be willing to let go of the old. This can be scary, but it's essential for growth. If you're not willing to let go of your old paradigms, you'll never be able to create new ones. What helps in letting go is having a clear vision in front of you of what you're going to get out of it. You might want to examine different areas of your life and make a list of what you'll gain in each.

Change Your Identity

Let me give you an example in my personal life. I remember a conversation I had with a friend when I was still in corporate. We'd just won a big project and we were celebrating with pizza. The smell of the pizza wafted through the building and had me salivating. Alongside the pizza, they had salads and other healthier offerings. I noticed a friend of mine whom over the years had become vegan pass by the pizza and go straight for the salad. I couldn’t imagine myself doing that and I was curious about how she could, so I asked her. I'll forever remember what she said: "that's not who I am. Those aren't the food I eat, so it's easy to say no." That's NOT WHO I AM. Such powerful word. When we take on the identity of the person we wish to become, it's much easier to do the hard things.

Surround Yourself with Like-Minded People

You may know that some of your friends are negative, and you feel like they are holding you back. I'm not saying that you should let go of them altogether, but there is an opportunity to limit the time you spend with them. Find others who are living the life you want to live. These people will support you on your journey and help you to stay motivated and inspired.

Take the Leap

Sometimes the best way to break out of your old paradigms is to just take the leap. Jump into something new headfirst and see what happens. You may be surprised at how well you adapt and how much fun you have in the process. In your career, if you have a desire to set your own schedule and create a life on your terms, that might mean letting go of the shore and venturing our into the big blue ocean. Trust me I know how scary it is, but there are ways you can mitigate that and get some clarity as to what they best approach is. I don’t recommend jumping into the deep end without doing your homework first.

Get Curious

The most important thing to remember when breaking free from your old paradigms is to stay open to possibilities and get curious. If you're stuck in your old ways, you're not going to get very far. Be open to new ideas and allow yourself to be challenged. Ask yourself and the people around you more questions. Read more books. Listen to podcasts. Learn from others who have walked the path you want to walk. Be willing to try new things, even if they scare you. Allow yourself to be challenged and don't be afraid to explore new ideas. The more open you are, the more possibilities will open for you. And that is how you break through paradigms to live a life worth living, with joy and vitality.

That doesn't mean that it will be smooth sailing along the way. You will face challenges and there will be times when you want to give up. But if you keep moving forward, learning with every step, eventually you will reach your destination. And it will all be worth it.

Celebrate Your Wins

You may know by now, I'm BIG on celebrating the wins. Why? Because it's easy to focus on the negative and what's not working. But when you take the time to celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may be, it gives you the motivation to keep going. So, make sure to celebrate each win along the way.

Conclusion

Breaking free from your old paradigms can be daunting, but it's worth it. When you allow yourself to be open to new possibilities, the world is your oyster. You can achieve anything you set your mind to. So, don't hesitate a minute longer. Start breaking free today and see how the world opens for you.

What paradigm are you trying to break free of? Let me know, so I can support you on your journey!