Finding Small Joys In Your First Holiday After Divorce
Well…. You made it through Thanksgiving and Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanza, and whatever you celebrate is here. Depending on how "freshly" single you are, it can be a time of celebration or melancholy. Being around family may feel overwhelming. You may feel you need to spend some time on your own to regroup or help your kids through the season. But what if I told you that this holiday season didn’t have to be only about surviving? What if it could also be about discovering those small but meaningful things, gestures, and actions that bring little sparks of joy to light up your life? I want to offer some practical ideas to help you feel connected and warm through the season.
1. Make Your Home Festive
I love this time of the year. I didn't have time to think about the first Christmas after my divorce. The divorce was official in November, and in mid-December, I flew to France to spend the holidays with my family. The following year was a different story. Before leaving, I took the time to decorate the tree, which made my apartment feel cozy and warm. I loved coming home and turning on the tree, sometimes without turning on any other lights. I couldn't go through my divorce.
While you may not feel like celebrating, changing our environment is often a great way to change our state and how we feel. Putting up the tree was enough to get me out of the season blues. If you're crafty, and especially so if you have kids, consider making some ornaments using pine cones or paper snowflakes to hang around the house. You could make homemade garlands. So many ideas are floating around the internet; all it takes is a quick search. Seeing the joy of the season through your kids' eyes helps to bring the joy.
2. Explore Your Town's Holiday Events
There are so many things to do in our town during the holidays; there is the lighting of our main street and of the Christmas tree in the local park. There are oodles of craft fairs in a 30-minute drive circle around us. These ideas cost you nothing and help you to feel more connected to your community. It enables you to feel less alone. But the key is to focus on the beauty of the season, not what you are missing. Grab a train and see their lights if you are within a short distance from a larger city, such as New York. It's nice to have an adventure you can have fun with, and it gets you out of your head!
Don't hesitate to check out the community boards, local event calendars, and FB events for something that sounds appealing!
3. The Magic of Giving Back
One of the best ways to put your life in perspective is by helping those in need. We feel better because we're helping and can find a different sense of purpose. When I think back over the last few years, I've played the role of Santa's Elves and called children to let them know Santa's working hard to be ready by Christmas! You can ring the bell for the Salvation Army. You can volunteer to turn on the town lights on the season's opening night. You can volunteer at a shelter. I have friends who spend their time distributing food to those who need it.
There are so many different things you can do; I promise you won't be bored! It only takes a desire to serve and a little bit of time to make a difference in someone's holiday season, and by helping them, you feel less lonely, more purposeful, and connected.
4. Favorite Holiday Movie Marathon
Who's up for a good movie? And yes, I'm in the "Die Hard is a Christmas Movie" camp. But some of my favorites include How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Elf, Love Actually, and Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Yeah… I'm also a Grinch fan…
So, is it time to make some popcorn or grab a blanket and cuddle up with a hot cocoa?
What are your favorite holiday movies?
5. Building Your Own Holiday Joy Rituals
So, now all you have to do is choose the right mix. It's time to find those little moments that will brighten your mood and make the holiday season more bearable as you navigate this new chapter of your life. Very much like in relationships, what keeps us connected are the little things.
Final Words
What if you let this holiday season be your moment, your time to rediscover the beauty of small joys and create new, meaningful traditions aligned with your new life?
If you'd like support in this journey, schedule a free Reclaim Your Life Discovery call by clicking here. I'd love to hear from you and see how I can help!
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