9 Tips to Grow with Ease and Joy

The last few months have been a time of growth. When I left my corporate job to build my coaching business in January, I took 3 months to deal not only with some health challenges, but also to take some time off to mark the end of one chapter and the beginning of a new one. Fast forward to today and I feel like a butterfly in her cocoon.

I love butterflies and find them fascinating. They are the ultimate example of growth and transformation. Do you know what happens when a caterpillar turns into a butterfly? It actually digests itself while in the cocoon and turns into a pile of goo before emerging as the beautiful butterfly we know. I’m smack in the middle of the “pile of goo” process. At least, that’s what it feels like!

The whole reason I left corporate America is because I wanted to make a bigger difference in the lives of women. I knew I was destined to more than “meeting my numbers” every month. I also knew that it would not be easy. While I can make use of some of the qualities that made me successful in corporate, I also know that there are many new muscles I need to develop, so I can positively impact those around me and help them make a difference in their world. So, I try things. I make mistakes. I learn every day what works and what doesn’t. I don’t remember another time in my life where I have been this far out of my comfort zone. I am doing all of this because I need to become a different person in order to make the impact I want to make. Like Marshal Goldsmith so eloquently said, “what got you here won’t get you there”.

The importance of continued growth

We can’t become what we need to be by remaining what we are – Oprah Winfrey

Before reading on, it's worth thinking about the reasons why growth is so important. There are lots of people in this world who complain that they'll never achieve their dreams because they’re not smart enough, don’t have the resources, don’t believe in their own abilities, etc.…

The truth is growth is an essential part of life. Gail Sheehy said “if we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living”. Without growth, we'd get stuck doing the same things day in and day out for ever more without developing any new skills or talents. Yes, we’d feel safe. Yes, we’d be comfortable, but we would lead a boring, uneventful life. That is not what I wanted for myself and I’m guessing that is not what you want for yourself.

Life becomes exciting when you commit to growth because new things start to open up before you like a treasure map. You embark on a journey of discovery and excitement and have the opportunity to discover the many hidden treasures of life, and those within you as you start to realize the potential that has been locked inside of you. The beauty is that growth unlocks the door to your dreams.

So, I wanted to share some of the epiphanies I had in these last few months in the hopes that they can serve you on your own journey.

9 Strategies for Continued Growth

1. Stop complaining and take control of your life

Carol Burnett infamously said “only I can change my life. No one can do it for me”. When I was a little girl, I dreamed of Prince Charming coming into my life and whisking me away, changing my life forever. But that was a fantasy. While I do have my perfectly imperfect Prince Charming today, I am also responsible for and in control of my life.

You cannot expect (though you may secretly wish it) someone to come in and tell you what is best for you. You can listen to other people's advice. You can role model what they do, but ultimately, YOU must decide what is best for YOU. When you surrender to the universe and finally take the reigns, it presents as a blank canvas, and you can draw your life out in the way that makes the most sense for you to be fulfilled and happy. Like Goerge Bernard Shaw said, “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”

2. Wishing isn’t enough – Action is key

I read a quote recently that said “you could make a wish or you could make it happen”. Walt Disney had a dream, and maybe he wished it upon a star. But one thing is for sure, he took measures to make his dream come true. Every day, I make decisions and take action toward making my dreams a reality. Sometimes it’s a small step. Sometimes it’s a big scary step, like this week. I signed up for a program I believe will help me grow my business, but it was a huge financial commitment. It scared the heck out of me, but I know it’s the right thing to do.

It takes action to make success possible. It takes courage to take on those growth opportunities. What actions have you delayed taking? Why? Are you afraid to take the wrong step or make the wrong decision? Do you not trust yourself just yet? Courage is like a muscle. To develop it, you have to use it. By taking action, you’re flexing. The outcome is almost irrelevant. If it was the right step, then you’re one step closer. If it was the wrong decision, at least you know what doesn’t work and you can make a new and better decision, one that will take you closer to achieving your objectives.

3. Change is the only constant

Change is inevitable. Growth is optional – John C. Maxwell

If there is one constant in life, it is change. Everything and everyone change from moment to moment. There have been times I have wanted things to stay the same. I’ve wanted to suspend a moment in time, but time waits for no one and neither does change. Change will happen whether we want it to or not, so what better way to own it than to become the architect of our own change? If life is constantly moving and evolving isn’t creating yourself the best way to lean into it, to make sure that you steer your life in the direction that best serves you?

When change happens in our life, we have two options. We can resist it, or we can accept it and grow from it. When we resist, we invite pain. We get stuck in the past, unable to see a better future for ourselves. When we lean into it, we accept the gift of growth. It may not be easy, but life teaches us time and time again that not growing is a missed opportunity.

4. You can’t be comfortable and grow

Comfort and growth do not coexist - Ginni Rometty.

It is a fact of life that growth requires discomfort. Growth keeps us alive; it allows us to push our boundaries and limits so we can discover the person we were meant to be, not just settle for who we already are. When I say growth makes me uncomfortable, I literally mean growth makes me uncomfortable. I don’t like it. It challenges me, pushes my buttons, and leaves the status quo in the dust. But growth is where success lies. It leads to success, it helps us develop a growth mindset and guides us to happiness.

When growth becomes uncomfortable, I have often said to myself "but I like it here. I want to be comfortable”. I have resisted change, and there are days I still do. But everything about growth says we should be uncomfortable. The beauty of growth is that when we lean into it, we can always expect more to come. So, growth is saying “yes, this will be uncomfortable, but if you trust me, it will be the most rewarding experience of your life”.

5. Be patient, caring and kind to yourself

Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There is no greater investment – Stephen R. Covey

When you decide that you're going to be willing to do things differently and commit yourself to a path of growth, that is when we need to learn to give ourselves a break. When you work in starting a new habit, it feels awkward and difficult in the beginning. It can feel like you’re taking two steps forward and 1 step back. If you’re like me, you’ve berated yourself for not being perfect and sticking to your new habit immediately. Does it help? NO! At least, not for me. So, what if you tried something different? What if you decided to be kind, caring and patient as you grow into this new person? The butterfly doesn’t rush the process. It simply follows it.

The truth is, even small changes can create discomfort because they push you out of your comfort zone and make you think about things in a different way. Most growth happens gradually over periods of time so that our minds don't suddenly realize how uncomfortable we feel and throw the towel in before we've even started! So, growth takes patience, kindness, and demands that we care deeply for ourselves, as we embark on our journey.

6. You don’t have to do it alone

You are not alone in the struggles of life. Entire cosmos is with you. It evolves through the way you face and overcome challenges in life. Use everything in your advantage – Amit Ray

The good news is this… You don’t have to go it alone!  When you find yourself struggling, it’s important to understand that growth is usually a shared experience. Every growth opportunity will come with its own challenges and chances to support each other through it. So, the best thing you can do for growth is to build some relationships that are going to help you move forward, not weigh you down or hold you back.

Having a strong support network, surrounding yourself with like-minded people and limiting your interactions with energy vampires is critical to your continued growth. When you have people in your circle who believe in you, support you and encourage you, it is a game-changer! You can bounce ideas off each other, try new things safely and most importantly, grow together for one person's learning is everyone's learning.

7. Learn to pivot

Pivoting isn’t plan B: It’s part of the process – Jeff Goins

At some point, life will probably throw you a curve ball and you’ll be caught off guard. How many times have I been going on my merry way, learning something new, making things happen and WHAM! I get smacked on the side of the head. How about you? Has that ever happened to you? When it does, it’s actually growth calling your bluff and asking, “how badly do you want this?”. Pivoting is the art of adjusting our sails (and direction) to head wind, it's how we maneuver growth. But if growth were easy, everyone would be doing it!

By committing to your personal growth you are saying that you are ready to do whatever it takes to get closer to your dreams. Growth doesn’t care about your feelings of fear, doubt, or concern... It only cares about growth. So, if you need to learn something new, pivot and learn it! Or if you need to make change, pivot and make it! Getting around those curve balls is all part of the game, and as much as we would like it to be so, growth is never a straight line. Twists and turns are life helping us to grow! It’s how we navigate these curves that really matters because all growth is about is growth, not comfort nor complacency!

8. Trust the Universe

Relax! Take it easy. You are supported. Trust! Life will take you exactly where you need to go - Jacqueline Conroy

I have my own timeline, my own ideas of when, how and most importantly how quickly I want things to be happening in my life. But the funny thing is this: growth rarely gives us more than we can handle! I believe that the universe brings me just what I need, precisely when I need it, not a minute before and not a minute after!

Case in point, I originally certified in 2016. It took me 5 years to make the decision to leave my job. Along the way, things happened that got me thinking and believing that I was meant for more, that I had a different purpose. As a matter of fact, if you had told me back in 2016 that one day I would leave a perfectly good job, I would have laughed you out of my house. Fast forward 5 years…. And here I am! So, trust the journey. You’re on the path you are on for a reason. You may not see the bigger reasons why, but one day you’ll be thankful for the experiences you’ve had because they made you into who you needed to be to achieve your goals.

9. Enjoy the journey

So often we become so focused on the finish line that we fail to enjoy the journey – Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I’m not going to belabor this point. Just have fun along the way. This is growth, not a death march! Make growth feel like an adventure. Growth is rewarding, so really enjoy it! Don't forget to smile and laugh through the process, it will make the journey that much more enjoyable.

Final Thoughts

These are just some ideas that have worked for me. Ultimately, growth is what you make it. It is intensely personal and looks different for everyone. So, do whatever works for you and don't let anything stop you from growing!

If you have anything to add to this list, let me know! I’d love to get your perspective. We grow from learning from each other! And don’t forget to let me know which of these strategies is your favorite!