Happiness Is a Decision

When I think about a time when I was happiest, it was in my childhood until I was about 13 years old. I didn’t think about the past. I didn’t worry about the future. I just lived. I enjoyed every moment. These are still some of the best memories of my life. 

You might ask, what changed? 

Well…. I moved to a new country, the teens happened, and my thinking started getting in my way. I began worrying about being liked, wanting to fit in and be accepted. When I moved to the US in 85, that desire to be accepted and to fit in grew exponentially. I didn’t speak English very well. Living in CT was unlike any other experience I’d had before, and I started getting into the habit of thinking negatively and looking for happiness in my outside circumstances.

Over the years, this habit continued to grow. I looked at my then-husband, career, and friends to make me happy. I looked everywhere but the one place that mattered: within.

Then, in my early 40’s, I started to look within. I discovered the world of personal development, and when I first heard happiness is an inside job, I thought they’d lost their mind! But I also wondered if there wasn’t a bit of truth to it. That belief grew over time, and while I am not there yet, I have grown and am happier than ever.

Are you looking for ways to be happier in life? If so, you're not alone. According to a Harris Poll survey, 64% of American adults say they want to be happier. Thankfully, there are three simple ways you can increase your happiness levels: think more positive thoughts, live in alignment with your values and purpose and take action every day to live into this future vision you see for your life. Let's take a closer look!

Why It's Important to Be Happy

Not only is life way too short to live an unhappy, unfulfilled and miserable life, being happy comes with a whole slew of benefits!

1. Improved Health: A study by the University of Wisconsin found that happy people have a more robust immune system than those who are not happy because they produce more antibodies, which help fight off infection. Others found that people were less likely to develop heart disease, had a lower risk of stroke, developing cancer, and had a longer life expectancy overall. But it doesn’t just do wonders for your physical health. Happiness is associated with a lower risk of developing depression and increased resiliency in the face of stress and is linked to higher levels of self-esteem and self-compassion.
   
   
2. Increased Life Expectancy: A study by the University of Rochester found that happy people live an average of seven years longer than those who are not happy because they are better protected against stress. 
   
   
3. Increased Productivity: A study published in the journal Psychological Science found that happy people are more likely to be successful in their work than those who are not happy because it helps them set and achieve goals. Others found that they also experience higher job satisfaction and engagement, are more likely to be creative and innovative, and are less likely to call in sick or quit their jobs.
   
   
4. Improved Relationships: A study published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science found that happy people have better relationships than those who are not happy because they foster more trust and cooperation. Others found that happy couples were more likely to stay together, have greater relationship satisfaction, and are more likely to report having close and supportive relationships with family and friends.
   
   
5. Enhanced Success in Life: Studies have shown that happy people are more likely to get married, have fulfilling careers, and make more money than those who are unhappy and are more likely to be satisfied with their lives.
   
   

Now, doesn’t that sound like a dream…? So, let’s dive in!

Think More Positive Thoughts

When I decided it was time to leave corporate to follow my dreams, I had gotten to the point where my need for fulfillment and being able to make a more significant difference in the world became greater than my need for certainty. I was much more positive about my ability to make it happen. Over the years, I had convinced myself that I could do anything I set my mind to and was smart enough to figure things out along the way. Instead of listening to my Negative Nelly say, “this is not for me,” or “I could never do that,” I had slowly switched the channel to Positive Pam. So if you're ready to start thinking more positively so you can be happier and feel more fulfilled, here are some tips to get you started: 

1. Identify your negative thought patterns: Do you tend to focus on the worst-case scenario? Do you dwell on your mistakes? Do you always see the glass as half empty? Once you're aware of your negative thought patterns, you can begin to challenge them.
   
   
2. Practice gratitude: One of the simplest and most effective ways to become more positive is to focus on all the things you're grateful for in your life. Whether it's your health, family, friends, or job, taking time each day to appreciate what you have will help you feel more positive overall. This was hard for me. I felt silly doing it because I was going through the motions but did not believe it. When I started being able to feel the gratitude in my body, things changed.
   
   
3. Surround yourself with positive people: Another great way to become more positive is to associate with other upbeat individuals who will support your efforts to think more positively and support your desire to succeed without thinking you’re crazy to jump in. Whether joining a club or organization, attending social events, or volunteering, positivity breeds positivity.

Live in Alignment with Your Values and Purpose

Positive thinking only got me so far, however. One of the critical things was realizing that my values had grown away from the values of my company. And that, too, was a process.

1. Define your values: That is the common sense first step. It may take some time and introspection, but it is worth figuring out what you stand for. Once you understand your values well, you can start to make changes in your life to align with them. For example, if you value the environment, but your company has no EHS department, you might rethink whether or not you want to be there. Or if your company says it values people but continually puts them in situations where they are stressed out and on the verge of burning out while you are empathic and respectful, it’s not a good match!
   
   
2. Identify your purpose: What do you want to achieve in your life? Why are you here? Mark Twain said, “the two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out why.” Once you clearly understand your purpose, you can start making choices that align with your values and purpose. This means being aware of the impact of your choices on yourself and the world around you. It also means being willing to make sacrifices to live in alignment. Now, have YOU found YOUR “WHY” yet? If not, I encourage you to join me on October 8th at 11 am EST for my newest masterclass, “3 Keys to Go From Frustrated to Fulfilled,” where we will get you started on finding your purpose. Just click here to find out more and sign up!
   
   
3. Make a plan: Once you know your values and purpose, you need to plan how you will align your life with them. This may involve changing some of your life arenas, such as your career, relationships, or lifestyle. It is essential to be realistic in your planning, as making too many drastic changes at once can be overwhelming and challenging to sustain. Here, I feel there are two options: Do that thing that’s going to light you up inside because then you will succeed, even if you don’t know how long it will take, or look for another organization that more closely aligns with your values. 

Take Action

After you have made a plan, it is time to take action and start living in alignment with your values and purpose. This may require making some tough choices, but it will be worth it in the end if it means living a life that is authentic and fulfilling.

1. Set realistic goals for yourself and take action steps towards achieving them daily: Without a goal, it won't be easy to know what actions to take daily. I like working backward on what I want to accomplish this year. What does that look like on a month-to-month basis? How about Weekly? And finally, what are the daily non-negotiables I need to hit? Put together your battle board to see the landscape of what you need to do.
   
   
2. Make time for self-reflection and contemplation to stay mindful of your progress and believe in yourself: This means taking an objective look every week at how you are progressing. I love my weekly assessment because it allows me to measure how things move. Sometimes it’s not a pretty picture, but it makes a difference in staying on track. It also means having faith that you can achieve your goals and that you are capable of making your dreams a reality. When you believe in yourself, staying motivated and taking action will be easier, even when things get tough.
   
   
3. Be patient with yourself: remember that change takes time, and consistency is critical. Anything worthwhile does not happen overnight unless you’re lucky enough o win the lottery! You will have to grow into the person you need to be to achieve these new goals, which takes time. It takes trial and error. Sometimes it feels like the cha-cha, taking two steps forward and a step back. But hang in there because it is worth it!

Conclusion

There's no doubt about it—you CAN live a happy and fulfilled life, but that will take some work. You can get there by focusing on the positive, living in alignment with your values and purpose, and taking action to make your dreams come true. The only question then is, “when?”