Fight for Your Happiness: One Habit at a Time

What if the secret to happiness was hidden in a single day? Not in tomorrow, not in a five-year plan, but in how you choose to live today?

Sometimes, we can get stuck ruminating things. You know...? We get stuck in those negative mind loops. I've done my fair share. It really got bad when I was going through my divorce. I'd imagine all possible worst-case scenarios and nearly drove myself mad. Oh… and by the way… None of the worst things I imagined ever came true. But my monkey brain was on overdrive!

I did a lot of reading during that time. I was desperate to find a way to calm my overactive mind, and one of the books I read was "How To Stop Worrying & Start Living" by Dale Carnegie. And there is a passage in the book that I remember vividly. I wanted to share it with you because I think it is something that can help tremendously not only to overcome the mind loops but also to bring more happiness into our lives.

It is imperative to remember this when we're in "one of those moods" where everything is a catastrophe; it feels like nothing is going our way, and we're "this close" to throwing in the towel. These thoughts make it hard to focus and take away the joy from my life.

This passage is all about Fighting For Our Happiness. Dale recommends fighting this good fight by following a "daily program of cheerful and constructive thinking." Now, you can try to create something that will work for you, but I would invite you to give this a shot. When I read it, it resonated with me because it is simple and completely achievable! It is called "Just For Today".

You see, it's easy to feel overwhelmed when we think about making any changes (big or small). I'm talking about things like developing new habits, improving our mental chatter, rediscovering what makes us happy, or deciding to be the master of our own destiny. If you're like me, you put together these great big plans, and nothing happens because it all feels overwhelming.

This concept, though, I can get behind because you and I can do ANYTHING for one day. We all can do something for one day. Not worrying about yesterday and not thinking about tomorrow, but simply being present, in the moment. And we can do it one day at a time!

Sibyl F. Partridge originally wrote this concept. Dale teaches that if we follow it, "we will eliminate most of our worries and increase immeasurably our portion of what the French call la joie de vivre." So here it is:

1. Just for today, I will be happy. This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. Happiness is from within; it is not a matter of the external.
   Tip:
1. Focus on how good you feel inside.
2. If you're not feeling great, dig and find out what's holding you back.
3. Time to slay some dragons!
2. Just for today, I will try to adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come and fit myself to them
   Tip: See things and people for what and who they are. Let go of expectations.
3. Just for today, I will take care of my body. I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse or neglect it so that it will be a perfect machine for my bidding
   Tip: Even if you just do a 10-minute workout, feeling good in your body helps you feel good in your mind.
4. Just for today, I will try to strengthen my mind. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought, and concentration
   Tip: 20 minutes of reading something that will get you to think differently is a beautiful habit to build
5. Just for today, I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out. I will do at least two things I don't want to do, as William James suggests, just for exercise
   Tip: Practice random acts of kindness. Just take pleasure in knowing you made someone's day. The social recognition only feeds your ego.
6. Just for today, I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as possible, talk low, act courteously, be liberal with praise, criticize not at all, nor find fault with anything, and not try to regulate nor improve anyone
   Tip: Instead of handing out criticism, try handing out praise, just for the hell of it.
7. Just for today, I will try to live through this day only, not to tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do things for twelve hours that would appall me if I had to keep them up for a lifetime
   Tip: Stay focused on the task at hand. You control your mind, so if you catch yourself on the worry bus, get off and focus on something productive.
8. Just for today I will have a program. I will write down what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. It will eliminate two pests: hurrying and indecision
   Tip: Knowing what you have coming saves you a lot of time wondering what to do next. If you're a to-do-lister, don't try to tackle more than 3 big things in a day. If you feel unsatisfied, reflect on the progress you're making instead of the results.
9. Just for today, I will have a quiet half-hour all to myself and relax. In this half-hour sometimes I will think of *insert your higher power here* so as to get a little more perspective into my life
   Tip: Meditation, mindfulness, it all works. If you have a hard time sitting still, try a walking meditation. That means go walking without earbuds and enjoy the wind on your face, the ground beneath your feet, and leaves flying about you.
10. Just for today, I will be unafraid, I will especially not be afraid to be happy, to enjoy what is beautiful, to love, and to believe that those I love, love me.
    Tip: Fear steals your peace. Dig into the fear, and if you want some tips for dealing with it, try this on for size: https://www.alexandraniel.com/blog/5-questions-to-ask-to-get-past-fear

So, I ask you: Can you do this today? Can you do this tomorrow? And the day after? One day at a time, until you have created the life you want to have post-heartache? Let me know which one you'll practice this week. I'd love to hear from you!

If you'd like some support in this journey, schedule a free Reclaim Your Life Discovery call by clicking here. I'd love to hear from you and see how I can help!