How to Live a Life of Integrity

Showing up with integrity. What does that mean? When I think about how I lead my life, it’s all about doing what is right versus doing what is convenient. While I endeavor to live in integrity, last night was a perfect example of not living in integrity.

I’ve been striving to get in the best health of my life. One reason is because I want to feel better, sleep better, and have the energy to accomplish my dreams. Another is because I can’t, in good conscience, talk to my clients about getting in the best health of their life without going on the journey myself. And I am proud of the progress I have made in the last few months. I’ve been reading, listening, and learning about health topics and changed a lot of my habits. But last night was a “complete failure”. See…. I know that carbs do a number on me; brain fog, feelings of tiredness and don’t get me started on how I feel the next day. But last night, all that went out the window because I listened to pizza’s siren call! And I enjoyed it A LOT in the moment, but the aftereffects…, not so much! It was a great reminder of the importance of living in integrity with my personal code. Chris Karcher said, “Integrity is choosing your thoughts and action based on values rather than personal gain”. Well…, last night I most definitely made the wrong choice!

So, what is integrity? It is the practice of being honest and showing a consistent and uncompromising adherence to strong moral and ethical principles and values. In ethics, integrity is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness or accuracy of one's actions. (artsandculture.google.com)

When we live in integrity, we unconsciously make the choice between doing that is right and doing what is convenient. When we focus on convenience, we step out of alignment with ourselves and while it may feel good in the moment, there are always consequences. Living in integrity is playing the long game. We live while keeping an eye on our bigger dreams, desires, and objectives. It also means that we live in congruence with our higher self. While integrity means having a strong personal code of our own choosing, congruence means we are living in alignment with that code. It’s about being our authentic self and it feels fluid and honorable.

Qualities of People with Integrity

• They know themselves – Spend time deciding who you want to be and the values you want to use as your life’s foundation, so you can make decisions what are congruent with who you are. You don’t want to have to guess how you’re going to show up from moment to moment
• They take deliberate action – Instead of impulsively reacting to a situation, pause and think about the consequences. You can choose to respond in a manner in accordance with your values and appropriate for the situation in question
• They care about being congruent – Rather than caring about what others think, be strong in your convictions, follow your own compass, even if that means others might not agree or will criticize. The self-centeredness, being self-centered not in the sense of being self-absorbed, but being centered in who you are is a hallmark of integrity
• They form their own opinions – Ever go along with something a group decided even though you didn’t agree simply because you wanted to avoid disagreements and conflict? That happens when you don’t know your own values. You can easily be persuaded to follow someone else’s thinking. It’s OK to disagree, even if it leads to conflict
• They are strong in their beliefs – Do not let other people steamroll you because you want them to liked you. Being liked is not important. Doing the right thing is. So, don’t put up with unsavory behavior from others and call them out on their BS
• They understand they’ll make mistakes – Be confident in your abilities, but also know it’s OK to make mistakes because you do not know everything there is to know about everything.
• They take responsibility for their life – Instead of blaming the world around you for everything that happens to you, own your behaviors and actions and take control of the things you CAN control and let go of the rest. Don’t play the victim
• They accept and learn from setbacks – Understanding that life owes you nothing means not being resentful when stuff doesn’t go your way. It is simply how life rolls sometimes and it’s up to you to gather learnings and lessons so you can make better future choices
• They feel free – When you have integrity, you have nothing to fear since you have nothing to hide (Zig Ziglar). Nobody can hold anything over your head because you consistently show up in alignment with your core beliefs

So, now that you know the qualities of people who live in integrity, how do you foster that in yourself and in your life? There are four quick and simple steps. While the first two steps are easy, we need to be more deliberate in the other two steps.

Step 1: Define Your Core Values

Figure out what your values are and make the conscious decision to live by them every day. Imagine you are lost in the forest, how useful would having a compass be to finding your way back to civilization? That’s what having a set of core values does for you. It gives you a compass or a map for navigating your life in a way that is in alignment with who you are and what you believe.

There are many places you can go to find a list of values. You can just google “Values List” and you’ll get a plethora of options! Examples of values include: optimism, compassion, discipline, love, trust. The choice is yours.

Remember this list is not static. You might want to revisit it periodically based on how much growth you experience and self-discovery you do.

Step 2: Write Your Personal Manifesto

Once you know your values, write them down and also write down what it means for your daily life. What behaviors will you adopt? What habits do you need to change? What do you need to learn to be even more congruent with your values?

Let’s say that you choose acceptance as a value, but you are someone who has a habit of judging others. Making that change is not going to be easy. At times, you may feel like you’re taking two steps forward and one step back. By outlining the behaviors you want to start living, you give yourself a roadmap for success. I have mine printed in a frame on my desk as a constant reminder of who I am growing into.

Step 3: Use Your Values as Your Filter

Having these values means you follow them, even when no-one is watching. That’s the whole point of integrity. They are who you are. They are the guide you choose to live your life by. And there will be times when you are hesitating to make the right choice (like I did with pizza last night), but there are two questions you can ask yourself in those moments:

1. If I were to shout my choice from the rooftops for everyone to hear, would I be OK with that? Although having a slice of pizza or two is not something to be ashamed of, maybe cheating on your SO is not something you’d want broadcasted. Whether or not it passes the broadcast test is a great way to help you make a choice
2. Will I regret this tomorrow? Easy question, right? If the answer is yes, you are more likely to make a different choice, one that is aligned with your values.

As Oprah said, real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not. When you establish a moral code, then live into it and use it to make big or little decisions. It doesn’t matter. Honor yourself by following through on your commitments, especially those you make to yourself because if you can’t commit to yourself, how will you follow through on your commitments to others?

Step 4: Nurture integrity

Know yourself well, having strong personal beliefs, and taking responsibility for your life are common characteristics of people who live with integrity. But we always have to be vigilant. We can easily let our guard down. So, practice integrity until it becomes a habit, something you do automatically without giving it a second thought. The more you practice, the better you become and the less you think about whether or not you are acting with integrity.  Here are some ideas for how to make that happen:

• Get to know yourself on a deeper level so that you trust yourself in any situation and living an authentic life becomes effortless
• Be honest with yourself about your desires even if it means confronting the things that scare you the most
• Create a growth mindset for yourself, whether it's learning something new or breaking free from old habits that hold you back from who you want to be
• Look at your life and figure out what you want to focus on right now, then do it with full commitment
• Accept your fears for what they are, without letting them stop you from making progress

Final Thoughts

Integrity is an important quality to have in your life. Following your own moral code, even when you are the only one who knows about it, gives you peace of mind and you can live a happier life. And don’t be fooled. People will notice. They may not say anything, but they will see the change. And if you hear someone say to you “you’ve changed!”, then you know you’re doing the right things, so keep going!

I encourage you to go through each step outlined in this article to create your personal integrity plan based on the values you want to live by. You’ll need to lean into being growth minded, identify the behaviors you want to adopt and which habits must be nurtured, so you can live with integrity.

And remember, like Martin Luther King Jr said “the time is always right to do the right thing”.

If you'd like a step by step how to to create your own personal manifesto, go ahead and click on this link and let me know how you are doing!