10 Soul-Nurturing Rituals for Navigating Divorce
Going through a divorce isn't for the faint of heart! It is a slow, sometimes dragged-out fight to the end and beyond!
Today, I want to share ten ideas of things you can do to nurture your soul during divorce:
- Seek therapy and counseling: this is a no-brainer. There is nothing wrong with seeking outside support, especially from a professional with experience with others who have survived and thrived post-divorce. I had a therapist for years before my divorce and for a while after. She was instrumental in getting me outside my head so I could look at my situation objectively.
- Read inspiring or personal development books: This is an excellent time for you to embark on a journey of self-discovery. That became my "drug of choice." I chose to dive deeper into myself to better understand what drove me and the mistakes I made in my marriage. I was determined to avoid making the same mistakes again. Divorce is too painful to go around multiple times!
- Treat yourself to small indulgences: Find out what brings your soul peace and explore what makes you feel good about yourself. For example, while I used to get pedicures and massages occasionally, they became more regular. They helped me feel pampered and cared for, and I was showing myself that I was important.
- Declutter your living space: What are the pieces of furniture, items, pictures, knick-knacks, etc., that really bring you joy and make them a must-have in your new home? I boxed up all my stuff without rhyme or reason when I left. When I got to my new place, I found that I didn't want much of what I brought. It was a perfect opportunity to Marie Kondo my house, to make it a place of calm and peace, a place I felt good coming home to. So, I got rid of a ton of stuff and kept only the things that truly brought me joy.
- Plan social events: You have a great opportunity to reconnect with friends and to make new friends. You can go anywhere and do anything you want, so get around some people who uplift and value you. I began spending more time with my friends. When I was married, we lived more than 1 hour away from my friends, so seeing them was "complicated." Once I moved, I was only 15 minutes away from them, so I did a lot more than before and expanded my circle of friends to new people.
The following five habits, which I have developed since being divorced, have helped me stay in a good mental place, even when things get wonky with my new beau.
- Practicing daily meditation or mindfulness: This one may not be easy to get into if you don't already practice. But it's a great time to start! I am still relatively new to meditation and mindfulness. I find that when I take the time to sit with myself in silence and allow myself to feel my emotions, it is easier to get through the day. I am more present with him and share my feelings with less hesitation.
- Journaling: Though not consistent, it's a way to catalog what I've done in the day, how I have felt, what went well and not so well, and what I might have learned. Through journaling, I am getting to know myself better than before.
- Taking relaxing baths: Though we have a tub, it is pretty tiny. It gives the perfect image for 10 lbs of stuff in a 5 lb bag. But that doesn't stop me. I make it work, and while I sit in there, I dream of the perfect bathroom and tub I'll have in my forever home.
- Volunteering work or helping others: I joined my local Rotary Club. Knowing that I am meeting weekly with a great bunch of people and making a difference in my community keeps my feel-good feelings high.
- Maintaining a healthy sleep routine: This has been a challenge. I still haven't had a restful night's sleep since my divorce. I picked up the habit of waking up at 2 am to racing thoughts, and I'm still working on getting that under control. The racing thoughts are gone, but I haven't yet regained the ability to fall back asleep when I wake up or, better yet, sleep through the night.
I hope you will find these helpful as you journey through life. What other self-care tips do you use to nurture your soul amidst the storm?
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