The Path to Fulfillment

I was talking to a friend who is a senior-level female executive this week and was asking her "When you think about the women you work with, what do you think gets in their way of achieving their goals and desires?" Part of her answer was "Life balance" which makes perfect sense. And the rest of her answer surprised me. "Guilt", she said. Guilt because they have kids and also need to be a provider along with the belief that they should be the perfect mom, wife, partner, employee, have the perfect body, etc... The list goes on and on. And where there is guilt, there cannot be fulfillment.

Now, there's no question that work can be demanding and take up a lot of our time. As women, we used to have one job, being a housewife, and all the responsibilities that came with that. While I am happy to see that we've been able to expand beyond that very tight definition, I also see through my friends and clients that many are now expected to be 100% wife/mom and 100% career women, but are still just one person with the same 24 hrs in a day. This can lead to feelings of guilt and stress and to a lack of fulfillment across all areas of our lives. Yet, finding fulfillment in both our professional and personal lives is essential for a happy, balanced life. 

We often wish for more hours in the day. Just yesterday I was talking to a friend saying I could use a 48 hr day -- and I don't have kids! It seems like we're always rushing from one thing to the next, trying to fit everything in. And when it comes to working, it often feels like we're sacrificing our personal time to do what needs to be done. But is that sustainable in the long run? Surely there must be a way to have it all and feel good about it. This is what I want to talk about this week; how to find fulfillment in our life even with everything we have going on!

What Is Fulfillment and Why Is It Important In Life?

There is the big umbrella question of what is fulfillment. In this context, the best definition I found is this: fulfillment is a feeling of satisfaction or happiness as a result of fully developing one's abilities or character.

Now that you know the bigger definition, you also need to define what that means to you. We are each going to have a different definition.  For some, it could be having an amazing career that brings in a lot of money. For others, it could be their family and spending time with the people they love. Once you know what fulfillment means to you, you can then start planning out your life strategically. Why is that important? Because when we don't feel fulfilled, it leads to a sense of apathy. We question "why bother?" and it makes it nearly impossible to achieve the happiness and satisfaction we so desire.

So ask yourself this: How do I find fulfillment in your own life, given my unique circumstances and goals? Identifying the things that make you happy and bring you fulfillment will keep you going on the days when challenges are particularly difficult or stress threatens to take over.

There are three ways you can do that:

1. Develop clarity around your goals
2. Find that fulfillment at work, which is a place you spend a lot of time
3. Look outside of yourself

Let's explore each of these in more detail.

Having Clarity About Your Goals

The first step to finding fulfillment is to have clarity about what you want. This might sound like an easy task, but it can be quite difficult. We often get caught up in the day-to-day and lose sight of our long-term goals. And when we don't have a clear understanding of what we want, we end up feeling unfulfilled because we're not working towards anything specific. 

To get clarity about your goals, ask yourself these questions:

• What do I want to achieve in the next 5 years?
• What kind of lifestyle do I want?
• What is my definition of success?
• What are the things that make me happy?

You might also ask yourself this: How can I find fulfillment in my everyday life, despite the challenges and stresses I face? Answering these questions will help you gain a better understanding of what you want and how to start working towards it. 

Once you've been able to answer the above questions, you should have a pretty good list of potential goals that can bring you fulfillment. Now it's time to take action. What will it take for you to make these goals a reality? Then, it's all about execution. And don't forget to celebrate your successes along the way! That'll go a long way in helping you experience that sense of fulfillment.

Finding That Fulfillment at Work

For many of us, work is a big part of our lives. We spend a large chunk of our time there, so we must find fulfillment in our careers. Unfortunately, that's not always easy. Many of us feel stuck in unfulfilling jobs or are feeling overworked and overwhelmed. 

Benefits of Finding Fulfillment At Work

There are many benefits to finding fulfillment at work. For one, it can help you feel more engaged, which in turn will make you more productive and effective at what you do. It can also improve your mood and wellbeing, helping to counter the effects of stress and anxiety. 

Start By Asking the Right Questions

So how can we find fulfillment at work? The key is to identify what brings us joy or satisfaction in our roles. For some, it might be the ability to help others or make a difference in their lives. For others, it might be overcoming the challenges that come with the job or the sense of accomplishment that comes from doing something well. 

Think about the times when you've felt most fulfilled at work. What were you doing? What was going on around you? Try to identify the commonalities and see if there are any patterns. What do you love most about your job today? Answering these questions will give you a good starting point for finding more fulfillment in your career and in your life.

What If You're Stuck?

You can also look for ways to make your job more fulfilling. If you're feeling stuck, it might be time to consider a new job altogether. There's no shame in finding something that better suits your needs and goals. There is also no shame in admitting that you currently hate your job! Sadly, it is more common than you think. If you're not currently in a role that allows you to do the things you love or which does not give you that sense of fulfillment, see if there's a way you can change that. Talk to your boss or look for opportunities to take on new challenges. 

How To Stay Motivated & Deal with Workplace Stressors

There are a few simple techniques you can use to keep yourself motivated during the day:

• Focus on what you can control
• Connect with others who can offer support
• Start the day off right by setting some time aside for yourself with a morning routine
• Avoid looking at your email before you've even set foot on the ground and taken time for yourself
• Be clear about what you need to accomplish that day and celebrate those accomplishments
• Instead of saying "I have to", start saying "I get to"
• Make sure you give yourself time to recharge during the day - Aim for 5-10 minutes every hour
• Use exercise as a stress reliever
• Be mindful of your thoughts and don't believe everything you tell yourself
• Rely on your hobbies to take you away and replenish you

Looking Outside Of Yourself

Sometimes, we get stuck in a rut. We get so inside our own heads that it becomes difficult to find the good things amongst the bad. This used to happen to me. I would get so fixated on what wasn't going right or on what was wrong, that I forgot to keep an eye out for the good things and I would throw the baby out with the bathwater. I couldn't find anything good to sustain me.

The only way I was able to snap out of it was by helping others. Being there for colleagues, friends, and strangers made a huge difference in bringing me back and helped me realize that things weren't nearly as bad as I thought they were. Helping someone else also gave me the chance to do something good and that simple act of support was enough to start feeling that spark of fulfillment. 

If you think about this in the context of your life, how are you supporting your community? Are you volunteering? Are you someone your friends can rely on when they're going through a difficult time? How are you helping your immediate circle? What about in the context of your work? How does your job make a difference in the world/community around you? Are your values aligned with the company values? It doesn't have to be complicated, but realizing we're part of a bigger whole, making meaningful connections with others, and having a strong support network is a powerful way to rediscover your feelings of fulfillment.

Final Words

There is no right or wrong answer here, and no specific formula to follow. The key is being honest with yourself and coming up with a plan that feels like it will make you feel happiest and most satisfied. If you need more time for yourself, consider ways that you can start saying "no" to things when they don't fit into your schedule or don't bring you joy. If you feel like you're not reaching your full potential at work, start planning out steps that you can take to get closer to your goals. 

Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that finding fulfillment is a journey, and it will look different for everyone. Remember to be kind to yourself along the way. 

And if you'd like some help rediscovering who you are and exploring what fulfillment might feel like for you so you can experience it again and thrive, go ahead and schedule your free 30-minute Jumpstart Session. I look forward to supporting you on this journey!