Rediscovering Your Identity: Who Are You Beyond 'Wife' or 'Mother'
When I left my husband, my life had become so intertwined with his that I forgot who I was. While married, we did what he liked to do. We seldom ventured far from home because of his health. We often ate at the same restaurants.
As someone who traveled the world growing up, liked to experience new things, and wanted to keep stretching her mind and world, I found myself in a box. I thought I needed to conform and follow what my husband wanted. And I slowly died inside, despite what I was showing outwardly. I lost ME and became “the wife.”
If your journey is similar, I’m happy to let you know you can rediscover yourself, your passions, and your life and design it to your specs!
Signs of Lost Identity
- You don’t know what you want
- You’ve lost sight of what you love and what makes you happy
- Your self-esteem has taken a dive
But the good news is, you’re in for a new adventure to remake yourself. You’re ready for your version 2.0. You’re ready to start showing up for yourself again! And that’s a beautiful gift!
Where to Go from Here
I invite you to journal on these questions:
- Think back to your younger years. Do you remember what you were passionate about? What hobbies did you engage in that made you shine?
- Now, think about who you were before you married. What were your core values and beliefs? Did you set any of those aside for the happiness you thought you were gaining in your marriage?
- Next, think about the things you see other people (in real life or on TV) doing that make you think, “This looks like fun.” Consider exploring those. For example, I always wanted to go zip-lining. It looked like a ton of fun. I never did it with my ex, but I did with my new honey, and it was awesome! I laughed until I cried the day we did it.
- Did you play an instrument but stop? Did you study palm reading for fun but set it aside because it was “weird”? Think about the things you’ve always wanted to try and get started on your bucket list!
- Set some new goals. And I’m not talking just about career goals. I’m talking about fun goals, hobby goals, self-care goals, and anything that can help you rediscover what you love and that makes you come alive. You need to shine your light again to attract your forever love, and radiating joy, happiness, and ease is the best way to do it. So make sure you carve out that Me-Time.
Embrace Your Changing Identity
I remember hearing someone say, “Everybody wants something different, but nobody wants to change.” Well, as difficult as it might be, you have been given the gift of turmoil so you can make changes and make them stick. Accepting this as a positive and future-focused force is the first step to getting there. Don’t forget to celebrate your successes. When you find yourself breaking bad habits or interrupting negative thoughts for more empowering ones, celebrate yourself! That means you’re making headways. And embrace continual self-discovery as a lifelong journey. There is always something new to learn. There are always 1% shifts we can make that add up to positive growth and momentum.
Final thoughts
Once you know where you are and where you want to go, it’s a matter of doing the work and making progress. There is no end goal—there is only progress. And progress is the path to happiness and fulfillment. So, enjoy the process of rediscovering who you are, and most of all, I hope you become the empowered, kick-ass Wonder Woman you were born to be!
And if you’re unsure if now is the time to rediscover you, we have a quiz to help you find out. Just go to tinyurl.com/RediscoverYourSpark
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