Toxic Workplace? A Diagnosis and Treatment Plan

I was reminiscing about my days in corporate recently and I remembered something that happened years ago. It was late in the day or early evening, and I was still plugging away because I had a big presentation coming up in a few days Sitting in the office next to me was my teammate who was doing pretty much the same thing. And then her phone rang... From my office, not only could I hear her voice on the phone, but I could hear the voice of the person on the other end, screaming their bloody head off. That went on for a good 5 minutes. Now, 5 minutes may not seem like a long-time, but if you're being yelled at the entire time, it feels like an eternity! I wasn't on the receiving end, and it felt like an eternity to me! I hope you are never a witness to this, nor and even worse, on the receiving end.

My friend's story is a classic and overt example of a toxic environment. When you're in such a situation, it can feel like you're stuck in quicksand. The more you struggle, the deeper you sink. And it's hard to see a way out. But sometimes it much more insidious and maybe this next question will resonate.

Have you ever walked into your place of work and felt like something was off, the energy was all wrong, but you couldn't quite put your finger on what was making it feel that way? Look, we all have bad days. We may have bad weeks, especially if we're in the throes of a critical time for the business, but eventually things settle and go back to normal. If the time of high stress has passed, but you are still feeling like something's off, it could be a sign that you are in a toxic environment, and it could be the reason you're feeling stuck!

So, in this post, we'll discuss some common signs of a toxic work environment and offer some tips on how to deal with them. Keep in mind that not every negative situation is indicative of a toxic workplace, but if you're feeling uncomfortable or stressed out more often than not, something more sinister may be at play.

How It Impacts Your Health and Wellbeing

Toxic workplaces don't just affect our mood while we're there, they can have a lasting effect on our physical and mental health. Studies have shown that prolonged exposure to stress can lead to anxiety, depression, heart disease, gastrointestinal problems, and a whole host of other issues.

And it's not just our physical health that's at risk - when we're in a toxic environment, it causes you to disengage which makes it harder to focus and be productive, which can lead to subpar work and further stress. It becomes a vicious, unhealthy circle and it is imperative to change your circumstances as soon as you realize you're in this situation.

Signs You Might Be in a Toxic Environment

People Are Bitchy, Gossipy or They Trash Talk Each Other

There is an African proverb that says "if you want to go fast go alone. If you want to go far go together". It's one of my favorite sayings; one that has taken special meaning since I've become a solopreneur.

When you work within a corporate setting, you never do anything alone. When you win, you win as a team, when you lose you lose as a team. Your team is central to your success. When you find yourself in a setting where people are not supportive, it makes it that much more difficult. Challenges become more difficult, if not impossible to overcome.

We all have moments when we can be negative and occasional negativity isn't anything to worry about, but when people "live" in that negativity it can turn any environment toxic.

But the worst is trash-talking. Now, I'm not talking about office banter or poking at each other. That's normal and healthy. I'm talking about ugly, behind your back kinda talk. How do people talk about their manager? Or worse yet, how are managers talking about their people. For any organization to be healthy, the conversations must be open, respectful and constructive. Take any of those elements away and things like trust start to break down.

Expectations Don't Match the Reality

Is there an insurmountable gap between the resources you have at your disposal and the expectations on the deliverables? Look, we all wish we had unending resources. We know what it takes to run and win a project, but when you are expected to do magic and it is beginning to feel like you have to MacGyver your projects with paperclips, a lighter and duct tape, then things might have gone too far. Most people also like a good challenge. We love having the opportunity to rise to the occasion and rally the troops. It makes us feel like we're a team. We feel proud of the result. And when we win, it makes it that much sweeter!

But the last thing you want is to be in a Gladiator type setting where you and your colleagues are competing to the death for resources for your projects. It creates resentment, frustration and friction among the team. Nerves fray and tempers flare. I know I'm being overly dramatic, but if your company is not willing/able to invest in infrastructure and resources to be successful and instead is relying on your charm and MacGyveresque qualities to get things done, it's simply not good.

There Is a Disconnect with Leadership

When you have leadership that is either MIA or worse yet, tyrannical it creates an environment of fear and mistrust. A good leader knows when to step in and when to step back. They trust their team to do their jobs but are also there when needed for guidance or support. I've seen firsthand what can happen in an organization when leadership is weak or non-existent. The team loses faith, motivation and the will to succeed.

If you're constantly feeling like you are undervalued or unappreciated, if you're putting in a lot of effort but feel like it's never good enough, or if you're not being given the credit you deserve, that can take a toll on your morale. This can also lead to a feeling of being trapped, like you can't leave because you need the job, but you can't stay because the environment is so toxic. You may want to have an honest conversation with your manager about your concerns.

Another example of disconnect is feeling like you're constantly walking on eggshells, or you're afraid to speak up or share your ideas. This kind of environment can stifle creativity and collaboration and can lead to a feeling of isolation. If you're in a situation where you're afraid to speak up, it's important to find someone you trust who can be an advocate for you.

Your leadership team should also lead by example. Whatever they expect from you, they should expect for themselves. It cannot be a situation of do as I say, don't do as I do. They must practice what they preach.

And finally, there needs to be a healthy dose of respect. Just because someone is in a leadership position does not automatically mean they deserve respect. Respect is always earned, and actions speak louder than words. But respect is a two-way street. You also have to be respectful of your manager and recognize the challenges they face as well.

You might want to answer these questions for yourself: Do you feel like you have a good relationship with your boss? Do they trust you to do your job? Are they there for you when you need them? Do they listen to your concerns and use their influence to help you get past obstacles?

Your Values Are Not aligned With the Company Values

When you joined the company, chances are you were attracted to the company culture and values. Maybe it was their reputation in the industry or maybe it was something as simple as their website. But whatever it was, at some level, you bought into what they were selling.

But now that you're on the inside, you're seeing things differently. The company's values are not what they seemed. In fact, they might be the opposite of what you believed. And it doesn't feel good.

This is a tough one because although you might love your job, if the values of the company are not aligned with your personal values, it can create a lot of internal conflict.

You might also be in a position where you've been with a company for so long that you have changed. What was important to you when you joined and attracted you to the company is different. There is nothing wrong with that. It's simply a sign that it may be time for a change.

You might want to ask yourself: Do the company's values match my personal values? Do I feel like I am living those values every day? If not, what is the source of the disconnect? Because when there is that disconnect, while the work environment may not be toxic, it can be toxic enough for YOU and where you are in your life now.

Lawsuits Are Being Filed When People Leave

When someone leaves a company, it's not unusual for them to sign a non-disclosure agreement (NDA). This is to protect the company's interest and prevent the person from disclosing confidential information.

However, when an NDA is used to silence someone who has been mistreated or has witnessed misconduct, that's a problem. It's a way for the company to sweep things under the rug and prevent the truth from coming out.

If you've left a company and they've asked you to sign an NDA, make sure you understand what you're signing. You should also consult with an attorney to make sure you're not waiving any of your legal rights.

And if you're thinking of leaving a company, it's important to know that you have the right to speak up about what's happened. You can't be sued for defamation for telling the truth. The best thing you can do is document everything and keep records of what has happened.

The Company Is Losing Top Talent

When a company is losing its top talent, it's a sign that something is wrong. People don't leave good jobs unless there's a problem. And when the best and brightest are leaving, it's a red flag that something needs to be fixed.

There could be several reasons why the best employees are leaving. Maybe they're not being paid enough. Maybe the work environment is toxic. Or maybe they're just not being challenged. Whatever the reason, when the best employees are leaving, it's a sign that something needs to be fixed.

And it doesn't have to be just the best people. Sometimes it's about volume. When it feels like you're bearing witness to an exodus, that can be symptomatic of a deeper problem.

How To Cope with A Toxic Environment

If you find yourself in a toxic work environment, it's important to take care of yourself. This means setting boundaries and taking care of your mental and emotional health.

Here are some examples of setting boundaries at work:

• Draw a line in the sand of when your workday ends. Not putting those limits on can make any environment toxic. I recently heard of a friend who is working in a new company. She was casually talking to her manager about a client who reached out to her in the evening and because of her previous experience was willing to cross that work/rest line, but he told her that her off time is her time, and her client can wait until the next day. How refreshing!
• Be clear about when you will and will not check emails. If you go on vacation but end up working hours on end from the beach, instead of from your office, that's not a vacation and you never truly recharge which is what vacations are designed for!
• Be honest about the amount of work you have on your plate. Don't accept something additional simply because you're feeling pressure into it. You know your capacity; you know when your mental health will start being affected and it's your job to raise the red flag and say, "enough is enough".
• Remember that you don't have to put up with mistreatment. If you're being belittled, treated differently from your colleagues, you always have options. You also have to be willing to follow through. And, if you witness misconduct, speak up. Don't be afraid to be a whistleblower. It's the right thing to do.
• It's also important to build a support network. Find people you trust who can offer advice and be a sounding board. These could be friends, family, or even a therapist.

Here are some strategies to support your mental and emotional well-being. None of these will be revolutionary, but as my mentor says, "common sense isn't always common practice." So even if these are familiar, I invite you to allow them occupy a bigger space in your life.

• Meditation: I love the benefits of meditation and at the same time, I struggle with it. It "just" takes practice. No-one becomes a meditation master by doing it from time to time. It has to be a focused, intentional and consistent for you to truly experience the calming and coping benefits it brings.
• Have more FUN: This one really speaks to my heart. Nothing makes you feel better than laughter and doing things that are fun for you. Do you love puzzles? Do you play the guitar and can lose yourself in music? Find your sweet spot and make sure you do more of that every week!
• Recharge: This can take a couple of different shapes. The first is during the workday. Make sure you get up every 50-75 minutes to grab some water, walk around, rest your eyes from staring at the screen and BREATHE! This is one of the most underrated things you can do to keep yourself energized throughout the day. The second is when you're off, BE OFF. If you're enjoying time with your family, but you've got half an ear listening to incoming email notifications, you're not truly disconnecting. You have to unplug. Just like you wouldn't let your cell phone go down to 1% charge, why is it OK to do that to yourself? Isn't it more important for you to be at max power than your phone?
• Spend time with friends: Do I need to say more? Friends are our lifeline, our oxygen. They help us to think about other things. We can vent to them, and they can provide a new perspective. There are ZERO downsides to spending more time with friends.
• Journal: This can be meditative. It allows you to have some personal time and reflect on what is going on in your life. When you put your feelings down on paper consistently, you're more likely to pick up themes, recurring problems, etc... and then address them, so you can regain peace of mind.
• Just say "NO": Gone should be the days of doing things because you feel obligated. That alone can also leave you feeling drained. So, if it's not a "Heck Yeah!", it should be a hard no. And yes, that includes family.

Conclusion

We spend at least a third of our life at work. It's much too long a time to be spending it in a toxic work environment which is damaging to our mental and emotional health. If you find yourself in one, it's important to take care of yourself and set boundaries.

What have you done when you've found yourself in a toxic workplace? I'd love to hear 1. how you knew you were in one and 2. how you were able to cope!